Quarter of a Century

In honor of turning a quarter century today, I thought it fitting to list the top 25 things I would recommend to a bride for her wedding day.

25. Don’t be afraid to delegate. The success of this day cannot rest on your shoulders alone and people feel honored to be involved!

24.  Prepare the music for the ceremony at least a month in advance if not much more. Music really does make or break the ceremony and your musicians will love you for it.

23.  Don’t go into debt because of your wedding. Marriage, not the wedding day, is WAY more important. You may find yourself doing a lot of things personally (centerpieces etc. . . ) instead of hiring it out but think of all the money you save doing it-get the family involved too! Many hands make light work.

22.  Photographers appreciate a list of groupings that you would like-then give it to someone else to round ‘em up. It helps us know who NOT to put in photos together and if there’s a very special someone you don’t want left out, here’s the place to make sure they’re not. Give the list to someone (personal attendant?) to round people up-we don't know who Aunt Sue is!

21.  Talk to others at the reception. People came to see you AND talk to you. You have all honeymoon to cozy with your groom. Some of these people traveled a long way. Honor them for that.

20.  Don’t be consumed by the little things! If it’s not done by the rehearsal dinner, it’s not crucial to the success of your day.

19.  Stay healthy and take care of yourself in the month leading up to your day. Get sleep, eat well, go for walks, some light weight lifting...

18.  Write each other a letter to be delivered the day of. Gerard and I did this and we spent that last hour before the ceremony apart purposely so we could focus on other things. This letter is such a wonderful reminder of what we were feeling that day and our hopes for the future. You can even laugh at how much you’ve changed and see how far God has taken you.

17.  Let the groom plan something. If he can handle the honeymoon-by all means use him!

16.  Give a list of all phone numbers to everyone at the Rehearsal. They need maps of where things are, a timeline of the day to know when they need to be there and phone numbers in case of a question. Just don’t give yours to everyone. Direct them to your attendant or wedding coordinator.

15.  Honor any grandparents at the ceremony-you’re very fortunate to have them there.

14.  Memorialize any passed grandparents with a flower arrangement or candle. Write that memorial in your program.

13.  When planning, map out the day of your wedding with a timeline. This helps you see each step of the day and for what EXACTLY you need to plan. It decreases the stress load, helps you see what’s really important and avoid excess if you’re on a tight budget.

12.  When planning your timeline, allot more time than you’d ever imagine necessary. Who knows what will happen, but at least you can say, “Oh well, we’ve got time for that.” 

11.  See the groom before the ceremony. Some may have a more traditional view on this subject and yes, Gerard and I argued about it too. But in the end, it helps keep everyone calm before the ceremony, you can do your group photos beforehand and be free to par-tay after the ceremony rather than making your guests wait. We used our First Look as our 15 minutes alone to gather our thoughts and pray before the craziness began. see this blog post by pro-photog
j*:
http://www.jasminestarblog.com/index.cfm?postID=727
10. Honor your mom’s requests to the best of your ability. Especially if your parents are helping with the cost.( For example, my mom had 3: shoulders covered, a hair style that wasn’t tight on my head, and no Dollar Dance. I got the first two. Our Dollar Dance was by donation only. You weren’t required to give any money.)  You decide where you draw the line, but do the best you can.

9. Take the attitude that ‘At the end of the day, we’ll be married.’ If you get a headache, start your period, the flowers wilt, a fight breaks out between exes, etc. . . you can assure yourself that ‘At the end of the day, we’ll be married.’ And that’s all that matters.

8.  Also take the attitude of Thanksgiving. Thank people for coming. Thank people for helping. Thank the people you hired for the reception. Write a Thank-you note even if you don’t think you need to. Anyone who assisted in the success of your day deserves at least that you appreciated their efforts to the Cause.

7. Plan what will happen when you leave the ceremony. (Other than the obvious. . .) Seriously, will you change clothes and come back to help tear down? Will you say a final goodbye to family before you leave for the honeymoon? I forgot to say Goodbye to my parents and family and called them on our way to the hotel. I felt terrible! Figure out what you would like to do.

6.  When you were dating, they asked when you’d get engaged. . . The next logical question is, “When are you two going to have kids?” Know in advance how you will answer this question and remember that it’s NOBODY’S BUSINESS!!! Nope, not even your parents’. It’s what goes on in your bedroom and no one is in there but the two of you. Leave it that way and don’t feel like you’re being rude when you don’t answer the question directly. In my opinion, they were rude to ask in the first place.

5.  Prep your personal attendant on her duties. Give her a check-list of what to have in her Emergency Bag. I highly recommend that it’s someone who is already married-then she can guess what you need before you need it.

4.  Hydrate and Feed. Yourself. Even if you don’t feel like you need it. No passing out please.

3.  Comfortable shoes. Please be kind to your feet! I once heard the saying, “If you want to distract yourself from anything, even another pain you’re feeling, make your feet hurt. That will remedy the situation.”

2.  Spend time with Mom! And remember what you talked about.

1.  Spend time with Dad! And remember what advice he tells you.